Close Your Eyes
by Gadien Elf
Summary: I'll be right here.  Spoilers for Prophet Five 5x01.  A bit of a filler fic.


**Title: Close Your Eyes (I'll be right here…)**

Summary: Just delving into the torturous emotions thrown at us in Prophet Five (5x01). This is, of course, based off of the presumptions that Vaughn's death was quite final.

Rated: G-PG I guess. Complete angst bomb.

* * *

(Jack's POV)

I can see the machines flashing from here and I barely jump when a swirl of doctors and nurses rush into Michael Vaughn's room. In the midst of the chaos is my confused, hurting daughter.

They begin resuscitation as she's pushed quickly out, which does little because the large windows – complete with shutters – are wide open. I hear her sobs; see her watch helplessly as they begin shocking him.

She looks back at me, and I can see it. I see her pleading with me to help save his life.

I am utterly useless in this situation, which isn't the first time I've failed my surprisingly resilient yet fragile daughter.

When I missed her fourth birthday I saw that look. When her graduation from kindergarten came and went, it was in her eyes.

This look…is hard to explain unless you've witnessed it. The sheer terror in her eyes as she turns away from the gruesome picture through the glass to look hopefully at me, ask me if there was any way that I could save him. And what do I do?

I, for the first time in many years, was at a complete loss. I…I wanted to tell her that…that everything would be…less than what it was now – but I couldn't; I wouldn't, and she knew.

She turned back to the glass, her hand covering her mouth as a sob wrenched from her throat and lodged into my heart. I'd seen despair before, but nothing like the reflection of her face in that damned glass. She knew there wasn't a hope for him…and I'd merely confirmed it.

I briefly wondered if she'd stolen a chance to say goodbye. Despite my roller coaster relationship with Irina Derevko, the fact that I'd never been given the chance to say goodbye to _Laura _still weighed on my soul.

They gave up moments later, the monitor still showing a single, flat, red line. Sydney had long since been closed off from the room as a nurse shut the blinds in her face. I wanted to be the hero once more – march into the room and throw them open to allow my broken daughter one last glimpse at her faded lover.

When the doctor stepped from the room, that solemn look on his face, I knew that Michael Vaughn was gone.

She cried out, hands covering her face as she fell against the wall. Her forehead and elbows holding her weight, and I just wanted to rush in once more to hold her against my chest, but I couldn't move.

My legs were…frozen.

So – once more – I just stood and watched as her life crumpled around her. Again.

* * *

  
(Weiss' POV)

Now I know…

Now I know the heartache that is…is so unbearable that it constricts your breathing; it…it completely cuts off circulation to everything that should function properly.

I thought that…that nothing could compare to the immediate rage, sadness…every emotion that exploded from me once we got Jack's call.

I heard her; sobbing in the background, before he barked that one sentence.

The proverbial straw that broke the camels back indeed – and when that happens, especially to me, it's not a pretty sight. I threw the first thing my hands grasped, and the chair went flying across the nearly deserted office to crash through a large window.

I barely felt hands and arms grabbed me …voices ordering me to calm down. Dixon's, maybe…or Marshall's, but when my eyes landed on the nervous face of the techie, I knew it had to be Dixon.

I haven't always been a big supporter of crying in front of other people – men especially – but the sobs that tore from me…I couldn't stop. Not that I really wanted them to.

He was my brother, and I loved him so much that…that the pain is nearly unbearable. It…encompasses everything, and a black void is beginning to swirl behind my eyes. The black quickly turns into a flitting face: Nadia.

This…job…has cost me…everything. Family…friends…loved ones, everything.

My life…

I can only imagine what Sydney's feeling, I mean, her newfound pregnancy hasn't exactly remained a secret.

So I just sit here…listening to the droning of the priest, an occasional tear trailing down my face until the moment comes when we have to carry the coffin. That's when I go completely numb.

I didn't entirely want to believe that he's gone…but burying him is so final that there really wasn't any getting around it. I was carrying him to his resting place. Where it would be made final - completely…done.

Sydney hasn't cried much, but I know it's beneath the surface. She's remarkably good at bottling emotions…but I don't know. Something this big is gonna to break her.

The day was beautiful, which is a complete mockery to what each of us is feeling. The sun is shining so bright I just wanna rip it right outta the sky.

The grass is too green.

The biggest sight that sent a shiver down my spine was the large hole that had been dug. The coffin was placed onto the gurney; the final prayer was spoken; and we were allowed a moment alone.

Most people started milling around, some conversing idly about how lovely the service had been.

Lovely indeed. A fiancée left alone…a child fatherless…friends – torn and broken. Lovely my ass.

I walk over to the coffin, noticing Sydney standing beside her father, her eyes just staring into the deep mahogany box.

The wood is cold under my hand as I whisper to my departed friend.

"So…you've finally taken the easy way out. You know…you don't have to try this hard to get out of me kicking your ass at hockey,"

My cheeks are soaked, and the conversation still swirls around me. I just stand there.

My hand is resting on the lid and I feel Marshall's squeeze to my shoulder before he himself brushes the beautiful crate with his fingers, turning away.

Reaching into my pocket I extract the heavy lump that's been weighing on my heart, though I know the pressure wasn't entirely from the memento. The black hockey puck was a stark difference to the brown/red wood, and I turn to see that only Jack and Sydney remain.

* * *

(Sydney's POV)

Everything around me is black and white. Before me, behind me – surrounding me like a suffocating blanket – I can't seem to creep my way back into the light, colored world that I knew two days ago.

"Close your eyes, I'll be right here,"

Only because I couldn't actually say goodbye to him. I won't…ever. I feel the tears welling again, but I shut them down, swallowing them along with the permanent lump at the base of my throat.

I chokes me in its intensity, and I can't hold back small sob that managed to escape. I feel their eyes on me, but I don't care. Before I can register what I'm doing, I'm standing in front of the huge coffin that currently holds my fiancé.

My other fiancé. Don't think that the coincidence and irony of Vaughn's death hasn't opened up a floodgate of emotions from Danny's. I mean…losing a man I'd pledged my life to is what got me into this whole messed up life of double agents, lies, deceit…all of it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't…that I couldn't do more, Michael,"

I can almost hear his voice in my head telling me…reassuring me…that this whole messed up ordeal wasn't – isn't – my fault.

I can almost hear myself arguing with him over the gall he had to tell me what to think…what to feel.

"I love you so much, Vaughn; so much…I…I don't know how to do this without you,"

I can feel my nails digging into the soft wood, but I don't care.

"I don't wanna do this alone…I - how can…how can I raise Isabelle without you?"

My heart's broken into a billion pieces, and I'm fairly sure that it'll never be whole again. This constant, dull ache that I'll live with for the rest of my life will just be my soul screaming at the loss of his warmth.

I feel the cool grass through my thin hose, my legs soaking in the sensation as I kneel, sobbing, beside his grave – his coffin – that's laid before me.

I can…I can almost feel his warm skin against my lips as I press them to the glassy surface of the wood. Several times. I…I feel arms squeezing my shoulders – who's I can't tell…but I tune everything out while kneeling in a sobbing heap beside my love's prone, lifeless frame - a sturdy section of wood separating my forehead from leaning against his solid body.

_"Close your eyes, I'll be right here."_ His voice whispered as the wind picked up, and I lifted my head quickly. I felt butterflies dance in my stomach, knowing that the love between Vaughn and I was nestled under my heart in the form of a child.

To hear my own words repeated was…humbling.

* * *

A/N: So I couldn't find a sentence to finish it off with, so I'm just leaving it like that. I mean…it's really not and ending, even though it was. The episode was incredible – if I do say so myself. And I do. Nothing like Alias to jerk around your emotions.

I have to say that my favorite part was Vaughn's death. No…not because I'm morbid or anything, merely because of the music (not Sarah MacLachlan's song – though I have to say that I've always loved it) the score during Vaughn and Syd's choosing of the name Isabelle was brilliant, as well as his attempted resuscitation.

The very moment my throat choked up was when Sydney looked back at Jack, a thin ray of hope still on her face until Jack's merely showed defeat. Turning back to the window, her face crumbling was…incredible.

No…I don't believe that the episode as a whole was premiere worthy, but the end sure was. I'll continue watching this until the show calls it quits. Michael Vaughn, though he was eye candy and a wonderful character, wasn't the driving force behind the show. All of the characters, their pasts, futures, especially the emotion tied between them all is what's gonna keep me watching.

I love the show, not just one character.

But…that being said, if he really is gone for good, I'll miss Vaughn more than I can say.

-Jean


End file.
